1. I met a guy in Valencia who told me that eating only vegetables will clean the stones out of your liver. Every liver is full of stones, he assured me. He also told me that cancer is going to be cured (Yes, folks – all cancer! Rejoice!) in the next ten years with pH therapy AND that gravity “doesn’t exist.” At some point in our conversation I stopped pointing out why all the things he was saying were totally bonkers and just rode the crazy train.
3. There’s an old market place in Granada where vendors used to cheat customers by hanging extra weights on their scales; if they were caught by police, their fingers were cut off and hung on the market entrance archway next to the small weights.
5. I sat at the last outdoor table at a popular restaurant in Chefchaouen one night and told the servers anyone could sit with me. Five minutes later there was a Romanian guy across from me with a permanent smile who told me that sometimes when he eats, he can feel other people psychically stealing the food from his esophagus into their stomachs (you can’t make this shit up, folks).
7. Walking through a narrow row of open air restaurants in Marrakech, guys kept grabbing my arm to try to guide me in. I violently jerked back from one of them. “Don’t scared,” he told me, which was a common thing I hard when trying to escape hawkers. The next guy said, “I don’t touch you – come in!” Smart move.
9. I watched the sun set over Granada one night from the house of guys from Senegal who stole electricity from the local church and sold beer to tourists. That’s innovation!